I’ve been having quite the complex lately. All of which stems from lack of sleep I’m sure. My Finn who is now 4 months old is waking every hour and a half to eat. I’ve tried moving his bed so it’s not so close to mine – letting him squirm around until it’s a full blow cry … And I finally give in and figure if he just eats real quick I could go back to sleep in 8 minutes. This is of course is against all of the advice and books I have ever read on baby sleep.
The other day when my mind was going full bore – it reminded me a lot of the beginning of the movie “Being John Malkovich”. (If you’ve never seen this movie just skip over…) I watched this movie years ago – and while I didn’t particularly like it, I could relate to the first minute of the movie. My mind was swirling with thoughts. My kids were eating supper and my mind wouldn’t stop. I had just watched the movie “That Sugar Film” the day before. If you haven’t seen it, I would highly recommend it. However, that is what put my brain into over drive. So I was sitting watching my kids eat supper and I was so discouraged by my parenting skills and what I was feeding them. I was feeding them bread. My mind started going like this : It’s organic grain bread but I’m sure it doesn’t have soaked grains. It has grass fed butter on it. Well that’s ok. The cheese doesn’t have rBST, but it isn’t organic. I wonder how many grams of sugar there are in strawberries. Well those are organic but still full of sugar. Their little bodies don’t know the difference between the fresh organic strawberry and the organic sugar filled strawberry gummy cow I just gave my daughter for going pee on the pot. What was I thinking?? Why did I do that?? Ok. For supper I can make burgers with organic grass fed beef – no they won’t eat that without a bun. Bread is bad. And they’d have to have it covered in ketchup. Do you have any idea how much sugar is in ketchup? Let’s see. Celery? Maybe some organic celery? Maybe a casserole. If I used the beef and added in some bone broth and maybe put a few organic noodles in it with some organic cheese on top they’d eat it. I could really use something sweet – I wonder if there’s some Easter candy left. Ok, that covers 1 meal. What about supper. And breakfast. I could make soaked oatmeal but then they’ll want maple syrup. Muffins? Sugar and grains. Eggs? That they won’t eat. And on and on.
That’s where my mind has been lately. Overwhelmed with exhaustion from just being tired. Take a deep breath. Everything in moderation.
So, I sign off for now and will be posting a recipe for chocolate cake with simple syrup soaked in on the top shortly.